Southern Thailand: the final leg of our journey!

 Ao Nang Beach.

Guy and Vasana.

Welcome to my final blog!
Since my last post, Jen and I have completed our tour of Thailand; venturing down to the very south of the country and onto the so called “islands”, famous for sun sea and… sand. Leaving Bangkok mid-August, our first stop was a south seaside town called Ao Nang. After our final night bus journey, (cue fist pump) we were both rather tired, but overjoyed to discover that our accommodation was amazing. Staying at 'Vasana Bungalows', which are about a fifteen minute walk from the town, we were warmly greeted by Guy and Vasana, the owners of the establishment, and quickly shown to our abode. Whilst crossing the threshold of our accommodation, Guy welcomed us to, and I quote, “the room of love”. Despite JA and myself not being an item, we could understand what Guy meant; a huge white double bed filled the room, laden with large cushions and a stylish wet room. After unpacking, we decided to walk into town and have an explore. However, our luck with good weather decided to end that day in fantastic fashion; the heavens opened and the rain did not cease for two days! As a result, we decided to head to the bar/restaurant area to utilise Jen’s pack of cards, playing many a game of 'Beany,' 'Shithead,' 'Chips' and 'Strip Jack Naked'. Thankfully, Guy and Vasana were in the vicinity and Guy, being French, loved discussing the matters on the home front. On top of that, Vasana cooked us up many delicious local Thai dishes, coming from the area herself.
Much to our luck, out of our three days in Ao Nang the weather did improve and we headed out on our penultimate day. During the excursion, we decided to take the fabled “Monkey Cliff Walk” to a secluded beach, however we sadly did not see a single monkey and the secluded beach was in fact overshadowed by a new hotel complex. As a result, we both decided to catch up on some sunbathing, as the previous days had of course, been lacking. This was followed by a rather traumatic Thai massage! Thinking it would just be a back rub, I was in for a shock when my masseuse told me to strip down to my rather skimpy boxers. Putting a small white towel over my genital region, she quickly went to work and to start, the massage was great. However she soon started to lift and stretch my legs up at unworldly angles and before long, the towel fell away to reveal 'Little Andy' dangling out of my upturned boxers which had somehow found their way above my belly button! An image, all together, rather unattractive. My masseuse carried on her work with nothing more than a giggle, and soon she was done. (I left feeling more red-faced and embarrassed than relaxed.)

Appreciating the 'Auto Bar' at Kata.

The following day we paid a fond farewell to our lovely bungalow, and Guy and Vasana. We then endured a lengthy journey down to Kata Beach on Phuket Island. Here we stayed at “Orchid House”, an amazing modern hotel, close in proximity to the beach and equipped with two swimming pools (we couldn’t quite picture how Pierre, our travel agent in Bangkok, had included this in our bundle deal for such a reasonable price; we were soon to find out...) Like in Ao Nang, we were given a room with a double bed, in fact all the rooms we have been booked into down south have had double beds, leading us to believe that Pierre made the grievous error, that many others on our travels have made, believing that Jen and myself are a couple. Needless to say the nights have endured many a duvet tug-of-war (Jen consistently being the outright victor!) and clinging to bed edges. However, we were thankful for the facilities that Orchid House possessed because, like in Ao Nang, the heavens opened for the majority of our time there. Despite this, Jen and myself still explored the area to an extent, and we soon discovered that Kata Beach was something of a Ghost Town in relation to the huge, beautiful, modern and empty hotels that line the streets! It was only when we saw Tsunami Evacuation Route signs did we think to check up the history of the region on the net, only to discover that the area had been obliterated by the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami! As a result, most of the previous buildings had been destroyed, or torn down, and replaced by brand new hotels and other establishments. Yet it seems far too many have been made for the actual amount of tourists visiting the town!

The sunset that greeted us from our beach on Koh P.

Despite the weather, we left Kata Beach refreshed and looking forward to reaching exotic Koh Phangan where, over the course of six days, we’d hopefully see lots of sun and the famous Full Moon Party. Before getting the ferry north to the island however, we had an 8 hour coach journey to the port which turned out to be probably the most uncomfortable journey I’ve experienced while travelling. Due to there being no seats left on the bus, myself and an Irish man from Cork, suitably named Paddy, were told to sit on the dashboard for the lengthy trip. All would have been ok (ish) had the bus driver not decided to pick up hitch-hiking locals and also take them to the port. Feeling somewhat like a game of Ten Green Bottles, more and more of us were crammed onto the dashboard until I found myself on the driver’s gearstick. Unfazed, the driver carried on picking up more locals, whilst occasionally barking at me in Thai to get off his gear lever!
Eventually, after what felt like forever, we made it to the pier and got onto the ferry, where we met Sam and Jo, who would soon accompany us on our frequent nights of revelry on the island. Upon reaching Koh Phangan, we were taken, by taxi, to Sun Sea Resort; our home for the next five nights. Meeting up with Sam and Jo in town, we got our first taste of the beach parties that make Phangan famous. On a huge stretch of beach, bone white and puzzlingly clean, lie many bars, dance floors and hundreds of stalls selling buckets. For those of you of the older generation who don’t know, a bucket is a deliciously alcoholic concoction consisting of copious amounts of spirits mixed with the sweetest soft drink. After two of these, one tends to rather drunk (cue the 'Fast Show's Rowley Birkin) and ready to party into the early hours. Thousands of other people fill the beach, dancing on tables, in the streets or just sitting on the sand, chatting to fellow travellers to their hearts content. (I personally found these “pre-moon” parties more enjoyable than the actual full moon party, but I will get to why later).

All set for the Fullmoon Party.

The days on Koh Phangan were spent soaking up the sun and recovering from the previous night back at the bungalows. It was here where we met Nat, Kim and Sam, three Mancunian girls who would join our merry band of revelry. The girls also knew six medics from Leeds on the island and so our ranks only grew. We celebrated Kim’s birthday on the Thursday and on the Friday we tried, but failed, to go out again and instead, opted for early nights so as not to impair our stamina for the following evening of the Full Moon. In preparation for the party, we spent a good three hours covering one another in U.V paint patterns from head to toe. Accompanied by our vibrant, colourful tie-dye clothing we had purchased for the evening, we all looked fit for such an occasion. Yet, it was at 11pm that we realised that we had spent half the night decorating each other and not having a single drink! Soon arriving at the beach, we made up for lost time and got on the buckets. Unlike the previous pre-moon parties, the Full Moon party was far more crazy! About three times the number of people filled the beach buzzing off booze and god knows what else. Amongst the endless bodies dancing lay the parties early casualties; people passed out, half buried in the sand, or others being treated for third degree burns because they partook in the parties fire challenges. Thankfully, all of us were on good form and we all saw the sunrise at 6am. It was at this point that I longed for my foam mattress because not only was I partially exhausted but, the beach had lost its charm in the dull early morning light. The mess ten-thousand odd revelers had made was strewn all over the large beach. The once white sands had been ploughed and churned up with beer bottles, buckets, cigarette butts and bodies. Thankfully, we all got home safe and spent a large portion of the following twelve hours in bed.

Ladyboys perform at Koh Tao's cabaret.

It was the next day, when we said our farewells to our new friends and headed for Koh Samui. After reading abysmal reviews about Sandy Resort (where we were to stay), where cockroaches, theft and dirty sheets featured copiously on online sites, we were in for one of the best surprises of the entire trip when we discovered the resort had been taken under new management and things had greatly improved. Upon arrival, we were given flowery bracelets, a wet flannel and an ice cold tropical juice, and shown to what has to be one of the nicest bungalows we stayed at all trip. In fact, Jen and I were so surprised that we double checked online to make sure we were staying at the correct 'Sandy Resort' on Koh Samui! It was here where we chilled out for three days under some much needed sun by the resort pool. It was very nice not to be around, or be in the vicinity of, any alcohol or thudding dance music for a few days. In fact, upon reaching Koh Tao, we continued the same routine of relaxation as we did in Samui. On our first evening on Tao we met back up with Sam, Kim and Nat where we went to the island’s cabaret show. The show was free entry, yet entrants had to purchase one rather pricey beverage. We, alongside a hundred strong audience, sat in a dark coliseum of sorts, and were soon treated to one of the most brilliantly bizarre things I have ever witnessed. Many different ladyboys, of all shapes, sizes and levels of attractiveness took it in turns to sing Beyonce, Rihanna and Britney! To give the guys credit, it was thoroughly entertaining and they gave it their all in their collective, colourful, flamboyant dress. Yet for men who (well some of them) looked so much like attractive women, the show really did have an odd vibe to it, right to the very end when male audience members volunteered and had a chance to wear the attire and dance on stage with the ladyboys.

The girls left the following day for Bangkok and, two days later, after more sun and sea, we followed suit. Today, we fly home! After four and a half months, and six countries, we will be touching back down in Birmingham Airport at 12.30pm tomorrow. Travelling has been such an amazing, eye opening experience and it has been absolutely brilliant to explore Canada, Fiji, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Vietnam and Thailand; they have all been an absolute wonder to behold. We have met so many lovely people over the course of our travels; from the villagers in Fiji who so warmly welcomed us volunteers into their homes for five weeks to the many backpackers travelling here in South East Asia. We thank anyone and everyone we have met and become friends with over the course of this trip!

Secondly, I would like to thank Jen for being such a good friend and companion during our trip. At the start in Canada, right through to the end here in Thailand, she has been a figure in whom I could place complete trust and reliance, and I would have found myself truly lost without her!

Finally, I would like to thank you, somehow my blog has amounted over seven hundred reads, so to you, reader, you have my sincere thanks. Knowing that someone has been reading this collection of posts has made it more the more worthwhile to write. However, even though I’m going to miss writing my thoughts down every few weeks, it is going to be fantastic to get home and not describe these adventures with pen and paper or keyboard - but in person to you, my friends and family!

Looking forward to seeing you all soon!
Love Andy.